This little book (pt. 2/2)
A different type of whole
This little book
is safe,
available,
stable,
consistent.
This little book
is everything
you seemed to be,
everything you made me
realize I needed and
everything you couldn’t be for me
at the end.
This little book
is the safest place
I’ve ever been,
right after your Presence.
The difference is,
this little book
is here
and you
are not;
this little book
will stay
and you
are gone.
And even though
it’s everything
I thought
I wanted you
to be,
it only makes me
miss you
even more.
Its presence
reminds me
of your absence.
Its inanimateness
reminds me
of your liveliness;
the spark in your eyes
that both scared
and captured me,
the fire in your spirit
that both warmed
and burnt me,
the depth in your mind
that both inspired
and confused me.
All those paradoxes
you so gracefully united
in your very Being,
they are
what cast
a spell
on me;
a spell
I cannot break
without breaking
myself.
And so I will
be scattered
into a thousand pieces
to let you go.
And then,
I’ll pick them up again
and put them back together
in another way.
You didn’t break me, love,
you just gave me the chance
to reassemble.
A new version of myself
will come out of this:
stronger,
wiser,
and ultimately,
more complete.
You didn’t break me, love,
you just gave me the chance
to become
a different type of whole.
